Minneapolis Streets Get Googlified

Thank god I was where I was supposed to be. I wasn’t wearing too few clothes, standing outside a strip club, or breaking and entering. I was simply going from one office to the next, dressed a little bit better than usual, and not picking, scratching, or doing anything else that I wouldn’t want captured for time immortal.

“The Google Maps Van”, which is used to create Google’s Orwellian but gosh darn enthralling “Streetview” was cruising the mean streets on the edge of the Elliot Park neighborhood in Minneapolis presumably taking pictures of whatever it drove past. It is hard to miss, with its cameras coming from everywhere, and it will most likely becoming to a neighborhood near you. No matter where I go, I will always be at 5th and 8th thanks to Google, if I make the cut that is.

More about the technological monstrosity that is the van can be found here.

Kid Oligarchy

As with all good prefaces, this will come first…

There is something inherently wrong about taking copious notes while watching a reality show on a Wednesday night, and something at the very least unsettling about expending what amounts to “effort” while watching TV at all. I did watch Kid Nation  for a little more than 45 minutes. I did not take notes. However, I do have a few thoughts to share with whomever.

• Arbitrary leaders- This felt disingenuous from the start. While the kids chosen to be leaders exhibited what could be discerned as leadership traits on paper (and if you take one of the most superficial view of leadership- that simply of position) then the choices weren’t horrible. Having a boyscout in charge makes some sense. Having a spelling be  “genius” at least insures….good spelling, especially when reinforced by a “good student”. And what burgeoning society can go without a 10 year old beauty queen? But what actually makes them leaders? Does a boyscout become a leader if they were pushed into that role by their parents?  How does choice fit into all this. These kids learned an important lesson; just because a person is in a position of leadership does not make them a leader. This is something that anyone who will eventually work or vote needs to know.

• Why the competition? If this show is supposed to prove that kids can set up a society of their own, why not let them do it? Is breaking up a large group into smaller groups more efficient? Maybe, but why not let kids form their own cliques. Social group separation does not need to be legislated. On a bit of a side note, why take a contrived competition seriously, before you even know that such a competition will take place. I realize that being twice as old as all but the oldest kids gives the advantage of wisdom, or years of messing up, but why care if someone writes chalk on a building that shouldn’t matter to you at all. Man, junior high was rough.

• Why give the kids wages? What is their to buy in the desert? Does this function as an incentive? Why not let the kids decided who gets paid what? I realize that these type of shows need some competition, and that every competition on a “reality” TV show needs a reward, but wouldn’t have been more interesting if the kids decided who would get paid the most. I’d like to think they would pay the hardest workers/those with the worst jobs the most. Why include an artificially cruel (at least crueler than the actual) form of capitalism. Wasn’t the leadership lesson enough.

Against my better judgment, I made it through most of the show. It wasn’t horrible and I’ll probably watch again, hopelessly wishing that the discovery channel had done this right.

On the streets that day lurked murder and mayhem

They aren’t shy at Defeat of Jesse James Days about their supposed ranking as the number one historical reenactment in the country. They have been celebrating a relatively minor event in grand fashion for decades. During the 20 minute long program, 18 minutes of which consisted of people in period garb milling, strolling, lallygagging, traipsing, and other forms of pedestrian traveling, it was mentioned at least a dozen times. After the two minute depiction of the seven minute gun battle (you’d think these numbers would line up), the narrator exclaimed “Now you see why this is the number one historical reenactment in the country!” It looked more like professional wrestling style acting, especially when all the victims of the gun battle rose from the dead at the same time, shook hands, and made plans to grab some cheese curds before they did it all over again in half an hour.

Maybe it was a great reenactment, I wouldn’t really know. My historical reenactments experiences consist of sweltering late spring class field trips to frontier forts, farms, and ferrys. It was fun back then to ask the reenactors about current events, while being scolded for paying more than 5o cents for a pair of shoes. As I got older, it lost its quaintness and I wondered why anyone in their right mind would enjoy wearing wool on a 90 degree day and being entertainment from elementary school kids with no interest in anything but getting on the bus to go back to school. I still don’t understand it.

What DJJD lack in acting it more than makes up for in unexpected fun. First there are the townspeople, who devote a good portion of their lives preparing for each second weekend in September. It isn’t just the reenactors, but also the police handing out “deputy” badges, the American Legion peddling fried steak at the rodeo, and the latter day hippies protesting the existence of a building that isn’t downtown and doesn’t reflect the historical nature of what is a gorgeous strip of turn of the century buildings. (In all fairness, the building in question looks like a cheap knock off of the Excelsior and Grand development in Saint Louis Park. Cheap looking brick and strange geometric metal protrusions don’t have a place anywhere. The fact that they are over priced condos nails the coffin of aesthetic pleasure shut. However, protesting the existence of a brand new building won’t make it go away). The citizens of Northfield seem quite comfortable, and content that DJJD is the event in Northfield each year, and the crowds keep coming year after year.

Minnesota is the land of small town festivals and big town festivals. Winter is so long, and summer is so short, it seems a waste not to dedicate at least one weekend of the blessed season to celebrate the few months that make the winters worth suffering through; and its those winters that give a us a chance to plan those festivals that celebrate who we are.

Its nice when something goes right

In my work as a not-quite social worker, unadulterated good news is rare. Any good news is usually gleaned from a negative situation, trying to focus on the two steps forward and not the three steps back.

Today I learned that one of the people I have been working with received a scholarship at The Loft Literacy Center. She says she was born to be a writer, and I believe her. Her writing skills blow away mine despite the $100,000 or so education that hopefully improved my wordsmithery.

Good for her, and good for the loft to making their programs available to anyone with a dream on their mind and a pen in their hand.

Wait, you want me on your side?

AFSCME is set to strike at the U of M in several hours. They claim that the pay increases they are being offered are not enough, while the University says they will receive a generous wage hike. The answer of course is somewhere in the middle (one would think a pay increase right in the middle of the offered and requested amounts could settle this whole thing).

Besides the union and the university administration, the students who just returned to class will also be affected. The key to carrying out or pushing though a strike like this is to gain the support of those who will be affected most. The university administration hasn’t made any overt attempts to get the support of students, at least none that I have seen. Instead they have repeatedly insisted that the strike will no big deal. The union on the other hand seems to done the unconscionable, gloating in the possibility that students will be adversely affected. This strategy drew gasps during KARE 11’s news cast at the fair. Mild-mannered fair-goers who simply wanted to meet weekend weather guys (not that there is anything wrong with that) suddenly sided against the union because of the words, and especially the tone of the union’s own spokesperson. With friends like that who needs enemies?

I don’t know enough about labor relations, human resources at the U, or what a fair or typical pay increase is, but I do know that blaming the victims (i.e. the students) is not a good strategy.

Perhaps if the strike goes through, the union will change its tune. It isn’t too late for the union’s spokesperson to say they love the U so much that they just want to have a chance to send their kids there someday.

Link to the KARE 11 gasp-inducing story. 

A Sventacular State Fair

Summer is over as of 1 hour ago. Although Def Leppard is still one-armedly pounding out their hits, the Minnesota State Fair is over. Now we sit and wait for the winds to shift to the northwest, the epic cold rain that seems to last for days, the leaves to change, and then the eagerly awaited (but only for a few weeks) winter.

The fair was once again its timeless self. Forlorn 4-H’ers dreading their return to reality, and the end of their doomed from the start love affair (can a 15 year old cow farmer from Hackensack and a 16 year old pig farmer from Slayton stay together in this crazy world with the fall harvest just around the corner. Doubtful.) An 11-year old took the all you can drink milk stand as a challenge and not a suggestion, and lost. Greasy foods on a stick were consumed by all, and there was much rejoicing. New this year was the amazingly angry woman shouting “I’m going to beat her ass. I don’t care if I go to jail!” with a slightly bemused cop feet away. In a strange turn of events, she was saying this too a very large, poorly shaven, deep voiced cross dresser who responded “I got your back girlfriend.” It is the great Minnesota get together, and we all show up. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, and I met Sven Sundgaard. I’m glad to know that I am not the only male and not the only person over the age of 15 that has a thing for Sven. And by thing, I mean a deep seated desire to be able to run marathons while keeping my hair under control. For the record, he is 5′3″ but a solid 5′6″ with the hair.

Always remember, there are plenty of impersonators out there. Tom Thumb Donuts, not Tiny Tim or some other monstrosity; The Original Cheese Curds, not some over priced knock off; and the Pronto Pup is the only corn dog worth eating. For a people who take such pride in knowing the difference between a Jucy Lucy and a juicy lucy, there were plenty of poor decisions made today.

Some times I wish I was a civics teacher

I’m not sure if political discourse has ever really existed during my life. Things seemed to start going downhill during the early Reagan years, may have slightly improved during the elder Bush administration, and then completely tanked during whitewatertravelmonicagate. The current Bush administration has only encouraged polarization, and both Democratic and Republican talking heads have wholeheartedly followed along (it is good business after all).

During my final year in college the biggest (mouthed) of them all came to Saint Olaf, my Alma Mater. Unsurprisingly the stereotypical far left college kids did all they could to shout her down and verbally attacked anyone that didn’t hate W enough (even though  one of their main complaints against the president was first amendment rights weren’t being respected…hmm) and the college republicans in their khakis and polo shirts cheered wildly no matter the vileness Ms. Coulter’s statement. It was clear to me then that this was not an isolated incident. The lack of political civility has left college campuses and TV studios and has shown up on my front porch (if I had a front porch, and if it was a few blocks west of me).

I don’t remember a lot about my high school history class except that I answered too many questions, it was taught by a none with an unhealthy David Duchovny infatuation, and that I wished Henry Clay would resurrect himself for the sake of all of us. Who you may ask? He is best known as the great compromiser, bringing people with disparate opinions together for the greater good. He wasn’t perfect, and it could be argued that he only prolonged the inevitable (namely the civil war), but he at least gave the country extra time to possibly avoid war. At the very least, he helped opposing factions see the merit of the beliefs of each other.

Politics seems to have devolved from being about being right to winning. There is at least something noble about being right, even though there is much more gray than black or white in today’s world. Competition has reduced political discourse to a verbal spitball fight.

This all brings us to Friday night when the Critical Mass group, a bunch of mostly well meaning though blithely naive cyclists decided to block traffic, possibly play chicken with on-coming motorists, and then act shocked when they found out that breaking the law has unpleasant consequences.

Democracy is built on rights and obligations. Bikes have the same rights as cars, and the obligation to follow the same laws. People have the right to demonstrate, yell, act stupid, etc, but also the obligation to follow a direct order from the police.

This chaotic incident continues to chip away my hopes of a return to civility after the 2008 election. The basic knowledge of what makes a democracy works seems to be missing. I don’t know if its the schools’ fault, the fault of the media, or the fault of all of us. What I do know is that as the Republican National Convention approaches, things will get worse. Feel free to share any jokes about organized anarchists in the comment section.

More about the incident here:  http://mnspeak.com/mnspeak/archive/post-3786.cfm

You tube videos galore here:  http://youtube.com/watch?v=5nVMMeMq6xQ http://youtube.com/watch?v=g_PpgVUraQQ http://youtube.com/watch?v=4aUS4EQULBY